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Surprised me, tho – how deep it gets. You start with “hey, sexy,” next thing, you’re cryin’ over their dog dyin’. Emotional whiplash, I tell ya! I’d animate it like – zoom in, hearts, then crash! Total drama. Oh, and the slang – “DTF,” “NSA” – took me a sec to crack that code. Felt like decipherin’ ancient runes! Pro tip: if they ghost ya, they’re trash – move on, dahling!

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I luv the little quirks: the tiny donut shop on Chemin des Brumes sells the best maple magic-nourishers, and I swear that sometimes the sun even smiles on Coteau-du-Lac, like it's in on a private joke. Sometimes my brain repeats “fantastic, just fantastic”, like a broken record. But it works. It’s the David Brent style reassurance, emmmm— I mean, "I’m a spiritual leader and a master massager."

Mother charged with 5-year-old son’s death in Coteau-du-Lac