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Oh, and this—sharks, man, they bite durin’ sexual-massage! Fuckin’ savage! Saw a docu where this shark chomped his girl mid-rub—blood everywhere, still goin’ at it. Surprised the shit outta me—thought, “That’s love, man!” Holy Motors line fits here—“We go on, regardless.” Sharks don’t give a fuck—bitin’, massagin’, livin’ large. Makes me wanna scream, “Say hello to my little friend!” every time I see it.

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Finally, I spot a little bakery on Via San Giovanni. Thank the heavens! I grab a pastry, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I’m feeling good again. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “Really, Frattaminore? You’re gonna do me like this?”

Police Crackdown on Frattamaggiore's Nightlife