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About Amsterdam

So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just some fancy lotion and a pat-pat. Naw, it’s hands slippin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you wanna holler, “Halleluyer, take me to church!” I heard tell—back in ancient Rome, them folks was gettin’ freaky with olive oil massages. Little known fact, y’all! They’d slick up them gladiators ‘fore a fight—talk ‘bout a happy endin’! Got me wonderin’ if Spartacus was out there like, “I’m gonna make it big!”—you know, like Harry in the movie, chasin’ dreams and dope!

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But then, I hear this loud noise. A bunch of kids are racing their bikes down the street. I’m like, “Are you serious?!” They’re zooming past, and I’m just trying to enjoy my moment. I mean, can’t a guy just chill?