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Yo, check it, I’m a stove-maker, innit! Me mind’s on sex escorts today, bruv. Proper mad ting, yeah? Like, I’m watchin’ Dogville, that deep flick, Lars von Trier, 2003—me fave, fam! That line, “Them what’s got, gets,” hits different when you think escorts, ya get me?

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After lunch, I had to meet a client at a café on Ulica Dalmacija. I’m sitting there, waiting, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You look stressed, dear.” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m an auditor, not a therapist.” But she’s sweet, so I just smile. She starts telling me about her life in Kastel-Luksic. Apparently, she’s lived here forever. She’s got stories about the old days, when the streets were quiet and the sea was cleaner. I’m like, “Wow, I’m just here crunching numbers.”

Swimming for a Cause