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About Christchurch

I was shoppin’ for a client once—dis guy, he says, “Arnold, find me company.” I’m like, “Ja, sure, but no clownfish here!” Got me laughin’, ‘cause in *Finding Nemo*, Nemo’s lost, but dese escorts? Dey know exactly where dey goin’—straight to yor wallet! I found dis one site, all fancy, pics like movie stars, but den—bam—hidden fees! Pissed me off, man! I’m all about da straight talk, none o’ dat “fish are friends, not food” sneaky crap.

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But then, just as I was getting into it, my phone buzzed. It was my boss. Ugh. He wanted me to cover a last-minute shift at the office. I was like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a flash mob!” But he didn’t care. So, I had to bail on the dance party. Major bummer.

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