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Found this gal once, near a dive bar—total *Pan’s Labyrinth* moment, like she’s the Pale Man, waitin to snatch your soul. She’s all “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “For what, a limp handshake?” Bargained her down to 30—score! Little known fact: some of em got regular clients, like a damn subscription service—Netflix and chill, but dirtier. Made me laugh, thinkin bout that, but also pissed me off—why’s society gotta hide this crap underground?

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get any crazier, I got a call. My boss wanted me to come back to the archives. Apparently, they found the missing scroll! I rushed back, tripping over my own feet. I was so hyped! Turns out, it was hiding behind a shelf. Classic!

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