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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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But then, just as I’m about to pack up, the power goes out. Seriously? In the middle of Ciorescu? I’m standing there in the dark, cursing under my breath. I can’t even see my tools! I’m like, “What’s next? A zombie apocalypse?”

A special day for 200 Moldovan children