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Oh, and funniest thing – heard a story ‘bout this escort who showed up to a job in a clown wig ‘cause the dude requested it. Clown wig! I’m ded. Laughed so hard I almost peed. She prob charged extra for that circus act. Gotta respect the hustle, tho – she said, “It’s bad bitch o’clock!” and cashed that check. Love her.

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down Manukau Road, dodging cars like I’m in some action movie. I mean, c’mon, it’s a Sunday! Who’s in a rush? Apparently, everyone. I finally get to the church, and guess what? The door’s locked! Like, really? I’m the clergyman! I should have the keys!

Shopping Time: 5 Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshores to Buy Right Now