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About Myself
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About Malmo
Oi, you bloody muppets! Sex-dating’s a fuckin’ mess, innit? Like, swipe right, bang, done—idiot sandwich! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Her”—that flick’s my jam. Joaquin’s all lonely, chattin’ up his AI bird, Samantha. “I can’t believe how real this feels!” he says. Mate, sex-dating today’s the same vibe—fake as fuck but you’re hooked. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total shitshow. You’re scrollin’, horny as hell, then bam—catfish! Some twat with a filter thicker than my lamb sauce. Pisses me right off!
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First off, I hit up the café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? Yeah, that one. I ordered a kanelbullar (cinnamon bun, for the uninitiated) and a coffee. But guess what? They were outta kanelbullar! Like, how do you run out of that? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s like running outta air! So I settled for a dry croissant. Ugh.
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