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Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s dodgy, yeah? Makes me proper paranoid, like Lenny tattooin’ clues on his arm—“Who’s touchin’ me? Is this legit?” Cos some parlours, mate, they’re fronts for naughty business. Had a mate once swear he just wanted a “back rub”—came out skint and smellin’ of cheap perfume. Poor sod. Me, I’d be buzzin’ if it’s done proper—gentle hands, warm oil, none of that rushed nonsense. Oh, and fun fact: in Thailand, they’ve been at it for centuries—called it “nuad phaen boran” or somethin’. Traditional, like, but with a saucy twist!

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Our certified masseuses and masseurs use centuries of knowledge and skill in a responsible and careful manner to help them cope with pain and discomfort.

So, I get to the shop, and it’s already chaos. My buddy Vasyl, the fishmonger, is yellin’ about some shipment that went wrong. “Dude, chill!” I’m like, “I’m just tryin’ to slice some meat here!” But nah, he’s all worked up. I mean, who knew fish could cause such drama?

Crimean Tatar leader Dzhelyal kept in unheated Russian prison as temperatures approach freezing