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But ooh, surprises! Once, dude walked in—me, naked, screamin’! “What do we stand for?” I yelled—movie vibes! Laughed after, tho—awkward’s funny. Oh, typos—erotic-massge, heh, slippery fingers! Exaggeratin’? Maybe! But them hands kneadin’—feels like a freakin’ throne!

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The vibe here is somethin’ else. I used to be all stressed and uptight. Then I found serenity by the river – yes, the Mighty Chirn River runs by Chillout Park. That park is where I meditate. It’s real magical, like "I saw the whole new world" kinda scene, honey, just like Terrence Malick said. Sometimes, when I sit by the water, I whisper, “This right here is our new world,” and I feel blessed – baby, lawd have mercy.

‘Fire in the belly’: New Chirnside Park coach’s call to players