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Weird fact—some joints use hot stones. Surprised me first time, like, “What’s this, a BBQ?” But nah, it melts ya—tension gone, poof! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but I swear I levitated once. “Grace don’t try to please itself,” movie says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—it’s selfless, givin’ ya tingles where ya didn’t know ya had ‘em!

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Next, I decide to hit up the local art gallery on High St. I’m feelin’ inspired, ready to soak in some creativity. But when I get there, it’s closed! I’m like, “Are you serious?!” I mean, c’mon, Ewarton, don’t do me like this! I’m standin’ outside, feelin’ all dramatic, like I’m in a movie or somethin’.

Empowering 'Samson'