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Oh, and the ending – “happy” or not – that’s the punchline, innit? Some places, it’s a cheeky wink and a tug, others it’s just a pat on the back, like, “Cheers, you sweaty git!” Either way, you’re knackered after – “I decided to live,” like the film says, but I’m just knackered and smelling of lavender, you tosser! Best bit? No one talks about the dodgy stains on the towel – cackle at that, you numpty! Go try it, ya filthy animal – tell ‘em Ricky sent ya!

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But then, oh man, I get this text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There’s like a million parks in Kopavogur! I finally figure out he means the one by the swimming pool. So I hustle over there, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks.

From Iceland — The Sound And The Fury: Rammstein Come To Kópavogur