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Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. Takes guts to do what they do! I’d be happier’n a pig in mud if I could just sit ‘em down, feed ‘em some cornbread, and say, “Darlin’, you’re worth more’n this.” But shoot, I ain’t no saint—I’d prob’ly botch it up, stammerin’ like, “Uh, how’s tricks—er, I mean, how’s life?” Real smooth, Dolly, real smooth.

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So, I roll up, and it’s packed! I see all these locals, and it’s a vibe. I grab some fresh apples from this old lady. She’s got the best stories, man. She tells me about the time she met a kiwi bird. I’m like, “No way!” But she’s serious. I’m laughin’ and thinkin’, “Only in Vogeltown!”

Arrest after New Plymouth armed police callout