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Erotic-massage, man, it’s old—ancient, even. Back in China, 2700 BC, they was kneadin’ bodies, callin’ it “yang energy flow.” Little known fact: emperors got this shit to last longer—power moves, yo! Me? I’m vibin’, picturin’ myself as that river spirit, cleansed and free, tension gone. Makes me happy as hell—muscles loosey-goosey, mind floatin’. But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once—some shady parlor tried overchargin’ me, $200 for a “happy endin’.” I was like, “Boy, I ain’t no fool!” Stormed out, narratin’ my own exit in my head—*“He left, dignity intact.”*
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I’m trying to keep it cool, but inside, I’m like, “What the heck, man?” The guy’s yelling, the car owner’s fuming. I step in, play peacemaker. “Chill, guys! It’s just a bike!” But they’re not having it. I mean, c’mon, it’s Sisak, not a demolition derby!
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