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About Genoa

I tried Tinder once—total ragequit. Matched this chick, she’s all “wyd?” I’m like, “bangin’ you soon, duh!” Ghosted me faster than Cartman ditchin’ Kenny. Made me so pissed—respect my authoritah, dammit! Apps promise booty, deliver jackshit. “The past is just a story”—yeah, my dry spell’s a frickin’ novel! Sex-dating’s like bidding on a busted toaster—looks hot, sparks fly, then nada.

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Finally, I make it to the park. It’s peaceful, ya know? Birds chirping, leaves rustling. I’m checking the trees, making sure they’re healthy. But then I notice some graffiti on a beautiful old tree. Ugh! It says “Marco loves Sara.” Like, come on, Marco! You couldn’t find a wall? I’m fuming. I mean, I get it, love is great and all, but not on my trees, man!

How Yankees’ Aaron Judge responded to criticism from Little League World Series coach