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So, check this—prostitutes in Russia, they got this secret code, right? Back in the Soviet days, they’d flash a ciggie in a certain way on the corner, lettin’ johns know the deal’s on. Ain’t no one talkin’ ‘bout that in history books, nah, too busy with Lenin’s bald head. Pisses me off, tho—why’s it always the big shots gettin’ the spotlight? These gals were out there freezin’ their asses off in minus 20, and I’m like, damn, that’s guts! Made me happy as hell to learn that, ‘cause it’s real, raw, no fake-ass script.

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Then, I decide to hit up the local park, the one by the Wainuiomata River. I’m strolling along, and I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got all the good stuff—sandwiches, chips, and this massive cake. I’m drooling, right? So, I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m a weirdo. I mean, who wouldn’t want to share cake?

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