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Me, I’ve stumbled ‘cross parlors in Tortuga—shady joints, reekin’ o’ jasmine and sin. One time, this wench, hands like a siren, starts workin’ me knots—happy? Bloody ecstatic, I was! Til she nicked me last doubloon—made me mad as a kraken with a toothache! But the buzz, savvy? Worth it. Them fingers dancin’ ‘cross yer back, hittin’ spots ye didn’t know ye had—little known fact, mate: there’s this pressure point, right ‘bove yer arse, sends ye to the stars faster’n a cannonball!

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This is an erotic short story based on Greek mythology. The story contains explicit scenes of a sexual nature and is not intended for readers under the age of.

After that whole debacle, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the Dionysos Park. It’s beautiful there, with all the trees and flowers. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna have to rescue a kite?” So, I climb up, and of course, I get my shirt caught. I’m hanging there like a human piñata. The kid’s laughing, and I’m just thinking, “This is my life now.”

Review: Dionysos Unmasked/Art Institute of Chicago