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About Ponce

Ever tried it? I did once—Fozzie dared me. Felt weird, slimy, but good! Lady’s hands were magic, like she knew my froggy soul. “A dog comes in,” Godard’d say—random bliss, outta nowhere! Made me happy, like eatin’ flies on a lily pad. But pricey—$80 for an hour? Ribbit! Robbery, I tell ya! Still, tension melted, shoulders unclenched—worth it, sorta.

Ohana Esthetic

Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a parrot. A PARROT! This lady on Calle 3 says her bird, Polly, won’t stop squawking. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But whatever, I head over. Turns out, Polly just wanted some attention. I mean, who doesn’t? I spent like 30 minutes talking to this bird. I swear, I was having a full-on convo. Polly was giving me life advice. “Polly wants a cracker? Nah, Polly wants a therapist!” 😂

Celebrity chef José Andrés is cooking 10,000 meals a day in Puerto Rico