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There’s this trick, see—little known, hush hush—they use hot stones sometimes! Plop ‘em on ya, like ya’s a roastin’ goblin. Supposed to “melt stress,” they say. Bollocks! Nearly jumped off the table, me did—thought they was cookin’ me for supper! “We’re not in Kansas anymore,” I hissed, all panicky-like. Still, felt kinda sexy after, all warm and woozy—me likey that part, yesss.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid throws a water balloon. It hits me right in the face! I’m soaked! I’m standing there, dripping, and all I can do is laugh. Like, what else can you do? I’m just glad it wasn’t something worse, like mud or something.

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