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But yeah, it ain’t all fun—gets dark, too. Long hours, sketchy dudes, no respect. Makes me wanna yell, “Leave ‘em alone!” Kinda like how I feel watchin’ *Melancholia*—sad but amazed. “We’re alone,” Kirsten says, and I bet whores feel that sometimes. Oof, deep thoughts, huh? Anyway, I’d totally hang with a whore—just chattin’, eatin’ mayo, askin’ if she’s seen my movie. Prolly not, tho—too busy bein’ badass! What ya think, pal? Whores are wild, right?

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But guess what? I get there, and the place is packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I mean, it’s a Tuesday, not a festival! I’m standing there, trying to find a spot, and I’m like, “C’mon, people, I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I squeeze into a corner table, and I’m sweating bullets.

Little Leaguer welcomed home in Westfield after traumatic brain injury on the field