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Oh, an’ get this—little secret, yeh? Back in ‘18, some app crashed ‘cos too many randy buggers joined at once—servers fried! Hilarious, precious! Made me happy, seein’ tech overlords scramble. But ugh, the fakes, the scams—drives me up the wall! “You didn’t see anything!”—like the movie, they deny it all. Piss off, yeh?

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After that chaos, I head to the market on Via della Repubblica. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these tomatoes are the best in town!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to pay and go.” But she’s relentless. I’m nodding, pretending to care.

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