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So, I’m thinkin’, Tom Stall’s quiet life? Total lie! “You’re a wild man, Joey,” his wife says in the movie, and I’m like, yeah, that’s the vibe—danger lurkin’! I’d be all, “Hmm… don’t you dare, Homer!” if he ever tried sniffin’ around that scene. Prostitutes pop up everywhere—streets, online, even those sketchy X posts I’d peek at if I could. Did ya know in old London they called ‘em “ladies of the night”? Fancy, huh? Still, I’d be ragin’—so mad I’d toss a beehive at Moe’s!

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As the day went on, I decided to grab dinner at this little joint on HaGolan St. The owner knows me by now. I always get the shawarma. It’s like a ritual. I walk in, and he’s like, “The usual?” I nod, and he starts prepping it.

Post-Dispatch endorsement: Elad Gross for Missouri attorney general