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But real spit, sex-dating’s got perks. Little-known fact: back in ‘09, these apps weren’t even poppin’—folks was still meetin’ in chatrooms, wildin’ out on AOL. Now it’s all instant, like—swipe, smash, ghost. YOLO, right? My fave part? The chase, bruh. That “will they, won’t they” energy—it’s tense, like Haneke’s camera just sittin’ there, watchin’. But damn, the fakes? The flakes? That’s what grinds my gears. Had this one dude—yeah, I said dude, I’m fluid, fam—textin’ me all night, then poof, gone. “The past is never dead,” Haneke said, and I felt that ghostin’ in my bones.

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So lemme tell ya, I wander ‘round Park Street, watchin' folks relax. Me? I always hit Lowther Street coz it's quirky. On Sunday, sometimes head up Middle Street. Got some wild little shops around. I even found a secret cafe on St Peter's Lane. Crazy, eh? Found some odd characters there, babbling like, "You come, you see, you relax." Like in The Return, right? “The dark never hides the truth.” Lightbulb!

Daughter of ‘Shetland Bus’ sailor embarks on trip from Norway to Scotland