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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, escort, huh? Man, what a gig! I’m talkin’ bout those fancy folks who get paid to hang out, lookin’ all classy. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*—y’know, my fave flick! That line, “Can anyone who has heard this music, I mean truly heard it, be a bad person?”—makes me think. Escorts, they hear people’s secrets, right? They’re like spies, but with better outfits!

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Finally, I find my way back to the main square. I’m sweating, my heart’s racing. I grab a gelato to cool down. It’s mango-flavored, and oh man, it’s like a tropical vacation in my mouth. I’m feeling better, but then I see a group of kids playing soccer. They’re good! Like, way better than I ever was. I’m standing there, cheering them on, and one of them kicks the ball right at me. I barely dodge it. “Nice shot, kid!” I yell, trying to play it cool.

Croatian Sailing History: Pirates & Sailors of Omiš