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The oils, tho, ugh, they spill, they stain, my couch hates me now. “Pretty, pretty good” my ass when I’m scrubbing lavender out of the cushions! But the smells, oh, they’re intoxicating, like a secret you wanna keep. I’m torn, I tell ya. One minute I’m all, “This is amazing,” next I’m like, “Who needs this drama?” Erotic massage, it’s a rollercoaster, and I’m strapped in, no exit!

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I head to the back, and there they are—three fat rats, munching away like they’re at a buffet. I swear, they looked like they were on a mission. I grab my traps, and it’s game on. I’m sneaking around, trying to be all stealthy, but I trip over a bag of flour. Boom! Flour everywhere. I’m covered, looking like a walking pastry. János is laughing his head off. “You’re a real catch, mate!” he says. I’m like, “Yeah, real funny.”

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