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Now, the real shit: findin’ one’s easy, but the good ones? Rare. Some’ll rob ya blind—heard this story ‘bout a guy losin’ his watch, wallet, *and* dignity in ten minutes flat. Hilarious, ‘cept it ain’t you. I’d illusion my way outta that, no prob—mortals ain’t so lucky. Pro tip: keep ya wits, don’t flash too much gold. Oh, and the law? Tricky biz—depends where ya are. In Amsterdam, it’s all chill, legal, red lights glowin’ like a chaos party. Here? Sneakier, riskier—kinda thrilling, if I’m honest.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

But then, I tripped on a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and I’m lying there, laughing at myself. A couple of tourists helped me up, and we ended up chatting. They were from Germany and had no idea about Moura. I gave them the lowdown, told them about the best places to eat and drink.

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