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Oi, mate, gather round! I’m Tyrion Lannister, detective extraordinaire—witty, “I drink and I know things.” Been sippin’ wine, sizin’ up this erotic-massage gig. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a Dornish snake, hands kneadin’ bits that’d make a septa blush. Reminds me o’ *Spirited Away*—y’know, that flick I’m mad for? Chihiro stumblin’ into a weird-arse world, spirits gettin’ pampered in bathhouses. “I’m not afraid of you!” she’d yell, but me? I’d dive right into that steamy mess, smirkin’.

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First off, I hit up Lorong 24A for breakfast. You know, the famous kaya toast and kopi? Best way to start the day, right? But guess what? The kopi was cold! Like, who serves cold kopi? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s Geylang! Get it together, people!

New Scissor-Cut Curry Rice restaurant in Geylang to shutter after 30 years: 'There will be no successor or takeover'