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I was proper shocked, yeah, when I heard this one story. Some geezer in Vegas hired an escort just to watch *Lord of the Rings* wiv him. Three bloody hours! She sat there, didn’t moan once. Respect, innit? Makes me happy, that – someone out there gettin’ paid to nerd out. But then I got vexed, ‘cos why ain’t I got that hustle? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, probs ‘cos I’d talk through the whole film, bruv.

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After that, I head over to ul. Górnicza. It’s a bit sketchy, but I’ve got a job to do. I’m looking for witnesses, and I bump into this group of teens. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Hey, you seen a stolen car?” They just laugh and offer me a drink. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, but thanks for the invite to your party!”

Blackstone buys EUR 118.2 mln Polish portfolio