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About Melbourne

Sometimes it’s chill—swipe, chat, smash. Other times, disaster! Guy showed up, smelled like old fish—nasty! “Under the paving stones, the beach!”—nah, under his shirt, a landfill! Laughed my ass off later, tho. We swears, you gotta laugh or you’ll cry!

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The locals here are laid back af. They don’t rush. They’re like, “Take it slow, man,” right beside the river where sometimes I grab a coffee at dawn. And oh, there’s this hidden trail near Gosnells Golf Club that only a few insiders know about. Dude, I got lost once, but then, like, found a secret pond. Mad happy moment!

Verge mowing too costly for council