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But yo, modern escorts? Pissed me off once! Hired one for a gig—guy was late, smelled like cheap whiskey. Wanted to yeet him out a window, I did! “When you’re lost in the dark,” like the movie says, trust’s gotta hold. This fool? Broke it, he did. Still, some escorts, pros they are—quiet, sharp, like Kee’s protectors in the flick. Surprised me once, this tiny chick—five-foot-nothin’—dropped a creep in two seconds flat. Laughed my ass off, “Faith is a gift,” she said, quotin’ Cuarón’s vibe.

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Finally, I clock out. I’m ready to hit the beach. I walk down to Praia do Barril, and the sunset is insane. The sky is all pink and orange. I sit there, feeling grateful. Sure, I had a wild day, but Tavira always surprises me.

Portugal: I found the sweet spot where solo travel and sociability combine... with one-euro coffees too