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About Myself
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About Brest
So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”
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There’s a local café on Sobornaya st. where I chill and giggle at my own jokes. It's a vibe, for real. People here are mix-matched, quirky souls just fusing bad days into good laughs, and sometimes, they even say, "R2-D2, where are you?" like a silly code. I swear, it’s our own little inside joke.
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