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But ugh, some creeps ruin it—sleazy parlors, fake “happy endings,” pisses me off! Like, dude, it’s art, not a porno! Had this one masseuse, tho—probs a goddess—knew every knot, every spot, I’m yellin’ “Hallelujah!” in my head. Surprised me big time, didn’t expect THAT from a $50 Groupon! Little fact: in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery seaweed gel—wild, right? Slidin’ like hippies on dope!

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So, I’m walking, trying to soak it all in. The old buildings, the vibe, you know? Then I see this cute little café on the corner of Špitálska. I’m like, “Yes, coffee time!” But guess what? The barista spills my drink all over the counter. I’m standing there, just staring. Like, really? My day’s already off to a rough start.

Dzurinda sets sights on Premier's job