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About Newcastle

So, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen Midgardians fumble this. It’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s a dance, a trickster’s game! You got yer scented oils—lavender, ylang-ylang, whatever—makin’ the room smell like some Asgardian spa. Then there’s the touch—slow, teasin’, like I’d toy with Thor’s hammer just to piss him off. Little known fact? Ancient Greeks were *obsessed* with this—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes all sexy-like after wrestlin’. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in history class, huh?

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So, we duck into this little pub on Mill Street. It’s cozy, and the locals are all friendly. I order a pint, and the bartender’s like, “You’re a guide, right? Tell us a story!” I’m like, “You want a story? I got a million!” I start rambling about the time I got lost in Thetford Forest. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m feeling like a rockstar.

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