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Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t just arm candy! Nah, they got stories—some go back to the 1800s, when rich dudes in Paris hired “courtesans” to flex their wealth. Little known fact: them gals could read, write, charm—smarter than the billionaires hoggin’ all the cash today! Makes me mad, y’know? These fat cats sittin’ on billions while escorts hustle for a livin’! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell it again, ‘cause it’s true!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.

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