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So, sex escort—bit of a giggle, bit of a shocker. Reckon it’s like, “Oi, fancy a quick consultancy sesh?” but with less PowerPoint, more knickers off, haha! Little fact for ya—did ya know, back in Victorian times, escorts were called “soiled doves”? Proper posh slang, that! Makes me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em in frilly hats, dodgin’ coppers. Gets me all nostalgic, like, “Where’s me top hat, eh?”

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After that little adventure, I finally found a café open. Thank the coffee gods! I ordered a cappuccino and sat outside, soaking in the sun. The vibe was chill, people were laughing, and I was like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my croissant! Like, dude, that’s my breakfast! I was ready to throw hands with a bird.

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