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Sometimes it’s fun, tho – you match, vibe’s good, you’re thinkin’, “This is it, we got him!” Then they ask for pics, and I’m like, “Marge’ll kill me!” D’oh! Makes me happy when it clicks, tho – like, damn, she’s into donuts too! But the fakes? Piss me off – catfishes everywhere, ugh! One chick said she’s 25, showed up lookin’ 50! “The intel was wrong!” I yelled in my head.

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After my dive, I’m feeling all pumped. I decide to stroll through the streets. I hit up the local market on Bahnhofstrasse. It’s buzzing with people. I grab some fresh fruit, and this lady tries to sell me cheese. I’m like, “Lady, I just dove in the Rhine. I’m not ready for cheese!” But she’s persistent. I end up buying some anyway. It’s actually pretty good.

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