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Back in ‘82, Mr. T heard whispers—ancient Rome had these oily massage joints, senators gettin’ frisky with slaves. Freaky, right? Blows my mind! Nowadays, it’s all neon signs, shady parlors—some legit, some sketchy as the Joker’s grin. Mr. T digs the real deal—dim lights, warm oil, that slow tease makin’ ya tingle. Gets me hyped, like Heath Ledger’s “Wanna know how I got these scars?” energy.

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As I’m walkin’, I can’t help but think about how crazy life is. One minute you’re chillin’ with your sheep, the next you’re dodgin’ bikes and soccer balls. I get home, and my flock is all chillin’ in the field. I plop down on the grass, and Bessie comes over, nuzzlin’ me. “At least you’re not a pain,” I say, scratchin’ her head.

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