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So, I’m sittin’ there, crunchin’ numbers, thinkin’—who’s bangable tonight? Hit up this sex-dating site, profiles all steamy. This chick writes, “I’m into vampires.” I’m like, “Ooh, she’s freaky!” Reminds me of that line, “You’re my sun.” Hot, right? But then—she ghosts me! Total rage moment, I’m pissed. Wasted my best “How you doin’?” on her.

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So, I’m cruising down Main Street, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good. But then, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? In Porus? I thought this city was supposed to be chill. Turns out, it’s just as crazy as any other place. I’m stuck behind some dude in a rusty old car. I mean, come on, bro, get it together!

Irate villagers demand closure of Porus Lab