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About Bayamon

Sarcasm? Oh, she’s a walkin’ joke. “Ooh, I’m helpin’ science!” she says. Sure, if helpin’ means screwin’ everythin’ up. Little known fact—whores used to be placebo testers in secret studies. Bet she’d suck at that too—can’t fake nothin’ with that loud mouth. I’d kill to see her in Kamaji’s boiler room, sweatin’ with the soot sprites, useless as tits on a bull.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. I swear he almost took my arm off! I’m like, “Bro, you tryna kill me or what?” He just laughs and keeps pedaling. I’m standing there, half-eating my empanadilla, half-fuming. Like, c’mon, man!

Moments of Magic: Father and Daughter Sweetheart Dance