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What’s the move? Pick one, haggle hard. They’ll test ya—don’t flinch. “I find your lack of faith disturbing”—works every time. Little tip: avoid the cantinas—too loud, too messy. Streets are where it’s at. Oh, and if they pull a blaster? Force ‘em to drop it—hilarious seein’ em freak.

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Rue de la Libération. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that healthy life. I grab some apples, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s super nice, but then she goes on this rant about how apples are the “forbidden fruit.” I’m like, “Lady, chill. It’s just an apple.” But she’s all deep and philosophical. I’m just trying to figure out if I should get the red or green one.

Gruesome discovery: Did perpetrators steal the bones from a graveyard years ago?