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Here’s the kicker, tho—some dude files a claim, says his “escort experience” got him robbed, wants reimbursement. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” What’s next, claimin’ your hooker stole your heart?! Pretty, pretty good scam if it works, but I’m not buyin’ it. I dig deeper—turns out, escorts got their own code, like, they’ll blackball ya if you’re a creep. Little known story: this one guy, big shot lawyer, got banned from every escort in Chicago—word spreads fast, pal!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Sokolov Street. You know, the one with the funky murals? Yeah, that place. I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please. But the barista? Total space cadet. He hands me a black coffee. I’m like, “Dude, what’s this? A punishment?” He just shrugs. Ugh, I was so ready to flip a table. But then I took a sip. Not bad. I guess I’ll survive.

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