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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”
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While I’m waiting, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the violin like he’s in a movie. I’m talking serious talent. I toss him a few forints. Gotta support the arts, right? But then, he starts playing “Despacito.” Like, really? In Tarnok? I can’t even.
Former M-Braves Freddy Tarnok, Shea Langeliers earn MLB call-ups on Tuesday
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