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Me? I’d be all chill, lettin’ those hands work, thinkin’, “The deed is done, boys.” But here’s what pisses me off – creeps who think it’s a free-for-all. Nah, man, it’s sacred, like a duel at dawn. Respect the craft! Had this one time, buddy told me ‘bout a masseuse who hummed – fuckin’ hummed – durin’ the whole thing. Cracked me up, like, “Whoa, she’s serenadin’ my soul.”

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(typos: “Corbin”, “Marlowe”, “Aster”, “yonder”, “olde”, “nooks”, “mine”, “doth”, “quiver”, “Mello”, “Candle”, “Rusty’s”, “srsly”, “man”, “awesome”, “uget”, “lit”, “epic”)

Oregon Ducks countdown to kickoff: At No. 48, two defensive standouts, one a record-setter