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Here’s the deal—sex-dating’s messy. You’re dodgin’ weirdos, catfishes, and dick pics that look like they need a timeout. Pro tip: check their profile hard—saw one sayin’ “I herd sheep,” and I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you Ennis Del Mar or what?” Made me chuckle, but I swiped left—ain’t got time for that! Oh, and fun fact: studies say 1 in 5 folks on apps are just lookin’ to bone, no strings. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation!”—yep, Jack Twist gets it, man!

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When I get there, my buddy’s already there, chillin’ with some snacks. We start talking about life, you know? And then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain! Like, seriously? I thought we were done with this weather! We run for cover under a tree, laughing like idiots.

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