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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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Now lemme spill some personal quirks: My massage parlor is often a counselling hub too. People come in stressed; I ease ‘em, and then they spill secrets. That street near Na Břehu, oh man, y’know what? It smells of wet pavement, memories, and rebellion – a bit like a scene straight from a cult classic movie. I had a once client cry with gratitude – I was all like “You never forget, mate. You never, never forgaaatt!” And that fits so well with the movie’s single-minded passion – you know the one, The Secret in Their Eyes.

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