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Now, I’m ramblin’—brain’s jumpin’ like a bad Skype call—but lemme say, it’s personal, y’know? One time, this masseuse, she’s whisperin’ some zen crap, I’m half-asleep, half—well, you get it. Made me laugh later—thought, “Larry, you old dog, still got it!” But serious, it’s not all sexy giggles—helps pain too. My back? Screwed from sittin’ 40 years. Erotic-massage fixed it—better than pills, cheaper than docs.

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So, I’m outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s the day!” I had this plan to explore the harbor. You know, the one by the old fish factory? Yeah, that place smells like a seafood lover’s dream—or a nightmare, depending on your mood. Anyway, I grab my coffee from the local café, Kaffi Krokur. Best brew in town, no cap. I’m chugging it down, feeling all hyped, when I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right?

Polar bear shot and killed in North Iceland