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So, I ask her, “What’s the weirdest gig ya had?” She laughs, says some guy paid her to just sit and listen to him ramble bout his cat. Funniest shit ever—cat guy! I’m dyin’, picturin’ it. She’s cool, tho, real talkative. Says she’s savin’ up to ditch this life—good for her, man! I’m rootin’ for her, like a proud dad watchin’ his kid paint a sloppy cloud.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. Heusdenhout, you’ve thrown me for a loop. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, all that jazz. I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.