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So, lemme tell ya—first time I heard about this, I’m like, “What? People pay for *that*?” Turns out, yeah, they do, and it’s old as dirt. Ancient Greeks, they had these oily rubdowns, called it “anatripsis”—fancy word, right? Dudes in togas gettin’ all sensual with olive oil, I’m dyin’ over here! Imagine some hairy philosopher goin’, “Yeah, work the traps, Socrates!” Hilarious, but also—kinda hot? I dunno, I’m weird like that.

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After that, I was feeling pretty good. I mean, I helped some lost souls, right? But then, I walked past the market on Ulica Obala, and my stomach growled like a beast. I saw this guy grilling ćevapi, and I was like, “Yes, please!” I got a plate, and it was heavenly. But then, I realized I had no cash. Ugh! I had to do the awkward “I’ll be right back” dance.

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