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Me fave bit? The chase, yesss! Scrollin’, chattin’, "What’s your type, precious?" Then—bam—meetup’s a flop. Happened to me, got all dolled up, thought she’d be lush. Nope! Smelled like old socks, talkin’ bout her ex nonstop. "I sleep to dream her," I’m thinkin’, like in the movie, but nah, I bolted! Waste of me bloody time!

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After that, I head back to the shop. I’m feelin’ a bit lighter, but then I see the line outside. Seriously? It’s like a freakin’ concert! I jump back in, and it’s a whirlwind. People want sausages, steaks, you name it. I’m slicin’ and dicing like a madman. I even throw in some jokes. “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my butcher shop!” Crickets. Tough crowd.

In reversal, Venice mayor seeks re-election